I'm still alive!

Man, I feel bad that I haven’t given any TLC to my blog in a year?? Geez, that’s my fault. I haven’t been inspired and life has given me some interesting turns in the road to prevent me from letting things out on here.

First off I’m going through some life changes. I bought a new (used) car in April. Yaaay! It’s a 2013 Maxda CX-5; charcoal grey, low mileage, and great mpg. I’ve named my car Cole. I don’t know if you get it but it could be also spelled another way (…give up? Coal? Cole? Ba-tum-tiss!) I’ve had a 2000 Mazda 626 for a long time but after having to commute for the past 3 and a half years has taken a toll on me and the car. The 626 started to show signs of deterioration while my trust in keeping me safe whilst driving was diminishing. I decided that it was time to move onto something better (and bigger?). I had money saved up for a decent down payment for the CX-5 as I bought it on sale too! I didn’t know that I could afford a new-ish car, and looking back at the purchase I realize that I worked my ass off to get to sign those papers. The years of education and pondering about my decisions has accumulated to that moment.

It's so satisfying to announce the CX-5 as "my" car

With having a new clean car to start over with the timing was perfect as I started to purge and reorganize my life. Believe it or not the whole purging and reorganizing started in my room. Since losing some weight and realizing there was clothing that I don’t care for I started filling up this giant plastic bag from the Olympia Expo. One of the handles broke as I getting the damn bag out of the house and into my car to drop off at Savers (it’s a thrift store by Hope Services). From then on I have been organizing my paper clutter, clothing clutter, and even my pantry. I was heavily influenced by YouTubers who are considered as organizational “gurus.” I bought items from Bed Bath and Beyond, Dollar Tree, and the Container Store to get all my crap organized. Honestly, it’s been such a cleansing and refreshing experience. The statement of “less is more” is very relevant at this point in my life.

 I took an over-the-door shoe organizer with clear pockets and stored my scarves and belts

Going on with the whole “less is more” concept in my head, I will be taking the next year off from Athletic Training. I have 10 days, well more like 8 days if I exclude the weekend, left of my five year career at Monta Vista. I love my job, don’t get me wrong, I know I’m good at what I do but I’ve been inspired to push myself to be not only good but better. Then how do I get better and become greater? I’ve realized I want to see where my potential will take me. So I will be taking a couple classes over the next year to see what kind of tools I can keep adding to my manual therapy box. I plan on taking a pre-natal/pregnancy massage and Active Release Technique classes within the end of this calendar year. I’m not sure what else I wanna take but I’m curious to see what else is going to be out there.

I know I’m making a sacrifice to my income. Some or all of you may know that I work two jobs. Since I’m quitting one I’m reducing my income. However, because my clientele is growing at Athlete’s Advantage I feel like I’m making a good decision. I want to expand my clientele as my skills grow. I’m not sure how long I’ll be at AA but I want to be there as long as I can until it’s time to see where to go from there. What I love about AA is being able to customize my client’s sessions. There are times when my regulars have specific points that need attention or if they just had a really long month or week they just want a relaxing session. I love being able to provide the service for them because the results show on their faces and posture.  I know I don’t have a career in athletic training, but you know what I have a set of skills that I can apply to anything and anywhere I choose. There in lies the beauty of my timing. I’m extremely grateful and blessed to be able to make such a sacrifice. I’m leaving Monta Vista on a good note, I’m leaving a legacy behind but I want someone else to sharpen their skills to make their own legacy there. I only hope that the next ATC will become as good, or better than me as August comes around. I’m going to be cliché and say that I’m quietly closing the door from Monta Vista and opening another door then walking through it with my eyes closed.

My fitness life has been progressing quite well with some setbacks here and there. Life isn’t successful if you don’t fail. I’ve been counting my macronutrients and training with the 5-3-1 program with Jon’s guidance. Yesterday I managed to max 1-rep on squats with 225lbs! I don’t know if I want to count it as a success because I almost lost it and my toes came off the ground. The fact that I tried and did it was gratifying enough. Today I max repped on bench 130lbs! To know that I am strong at 5’3 and 177 pounds is a great feeling. Plus I’m slowly losing fat and my muscles are becoming more and more defined. A humungous thank you to Jon for helping me during the extremely low times I've been battling since beginning this fitness journey. You help me shake the crap off and keep going because the only thing that can stop me is myself. Thank you for making sure I don't hit the ground when I fall. I love you! 

Here's proof that I could lift hella. Thanks to Clay for filming this! 

I think I covered as much ground as I could in this entry. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Who knows, since I can make more time now I could blog at least once or twice a week. We'll see. Thank you for your support! 

- Marie

P.S. I don't know how you all feel about this but I've been doing a lot of fun-reading lately and would love to share them with you. So here's this month's Book of the Moment: 

 All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Another Year Older

March is coming soon and I need to write a post. As a life update here's what's going on: I turned 27 on the 19th, I decided that May 31st is my last and final day as a high school athletic trainer, I may be moving again in May with my roommate, I'm going to be in Europe in April with 2 of my besties from college, Jonathan and I are planning a couple trips later this year, and I really like my new job at The Athlete's Advantage. The commute could be better but that's a different conversation. I've been working a lot lately, in a way that's good since my clientele is increasing. At the hs things are slowly transitioning into the spring sports which will allow me to be done with the work day earlier. So as soon as my contract expires at the high school I'll be working full time at Athlete's Advantage (referred to as AA from now on.... awk).

This month I wanted to see if I could count my macronutrients. I figured out that it was a bad month to start because 1) I didn't have a food scale, 2) It's my birthday month so measuring things wasn't gonna go well or accurately enough. Sigh. So the month of March needs to be on track, and I need to be diligent. Jonathan's been guiding me with counting and measuring to make sure I was doing this counting macro's thing correctly.

I've increased my workouts to 4x/week. Well, 5x/week if you want to include a day of cardio. My workouts look like this:
Monday- Legs (push)
Tuesday- Arms (pull)
Wednesday- Cardio/HIIT workout
Thursday- Legs (pull)
Friday- Arms (push)

It's just about that time to change up my workouts since I feel like I'm getting a little bored/not as challenged with my workouts in the past.

Jonathan is having another photoshoot next weekend! He wants to see differences from June of last year to this one. He's been working his ass off... well kinda literally. I don't know how many of you know but he wants to compete someday. He really looks up to his idols and wants to be on stage with them one day. Please support him as much you can! I know he posts nothing but fitness related topics but this is his greatest passion. I'm sure his photoshoot will be awesome and the pictures will show the amount of hard work he has made since June... actually, ever since he started. I'm extremely proud of him, and very inspirational. I for one am still trying to come to terms with looking at myself in the mirror and seeing something that I admire (always a work in progress...). It's funny to catch him checking himself out in glass reflections or in the mirror (sometimes I wonder why he takes a little longer to get ready for the day, turns out he's just checking himself out in the mirror :P ) Anyway, Jonathan plans to compete in a show when he turns 30. Cross your fingers and toes for him please!

Be well and healthy!

Best,
Marie

Potholes and Patches

 Lately I've been contemplating about what I've been doing with my life. Not so much that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, more like how am I preparing for my future. Sure I may be on the right path and really know my strengths and weaknesses. But how sure am I about those things? I honestly, don't know. My greatest weakness is putting others before me, and knowing how to be selfish without the guilt. I work in a field where I put my athletes and clients first. Then worry about myself after I close the door and walk to my car. Ever since identifying this issue prioritizing has been a challenge. I could say that I've made some progress but there's always room for more improvement. I know what my strengths are: I listen to others pretty well, I am understanding, patient, affable, and I work really well with my hands. My hands are my prized possessions. I did wonder if there's a way to insure them... Jokingly. I'm sure there's a way but that's not my priority right now.I'm trying my best to be more aware of myself and trying to figure things out.  I need to take care of myself to be happy. Maybe I am happy and don't know it. Maybe I just need to stop living in the future and live in the moment, living in the now so to speak. I have a bad tendency to be way over my head and not realize what the hell I'm doing in the present. Not having awareness in my present is a terrible feeling. I open my eyes and ask, "how far did I drive?" without knowing if I zoned out or just left my presence temporarily (luckily, I was driving in smooth traffic).
 
 I am nervous about making decisions for my future... I know one thing for sure that I can't wait to have a future with Jonathan. Outside of that I have no idea what I'll be doing. I asked myself tonight "In 5 years what do you think you'll be doing?" as if I'm interviewing myself. My answer: the hell if I knew. I wish I knew how to answer that but I don't. Oh well. I have other things to take care besides worrying about my future. For instance, maintaining this blog.

 So my fitness lifestyle is going well but at the same time I have slumps. This week has been interesting, there were times where I didn't feel like working out or I ate a whole giant bag of Pirate's Booty just because I have no motivation to eat clean or what have you. I don't know, maybe it's this work week on top of last week, I have never been this overwhelmed with Winter season sports before, it's chaotic and discombobulating. Despite my stressful week and a half I'm still getting my ass into the weight room to workout. Yesterday (Tuesday) I challenged myself and managed to do a working set of 3x8reps of 135lbs squats! I thought I was going to have a rough time but I did it!  Yay! That motivated me to stop snacking on shit, get my act together, and eat real food. Now that February is coming up soon I may start measuring my macronutrients and eat according to my goals. I won't call it dieting because I'm eating, not starving myself. My other goal for this year is to do cardio at least 2x/week. Cardio would mean HIIT workouts that last about 20-30min depending on exercises and how many rounds I feel like going. Hopefully I can take some more progress shots soon. I don't have a mirror in my room but there is one in my bathroom with interesting lighting so we'll see. I will say that my arms and shoulders are becoming more and more sculpted. I feel like my limbs and back are getting stronger/sculpted/toned but my mid-section is just lagging. Sigh... I mean it's smaller than it used to be but it's one of those things that is so difficult to work on.

 Anyway, thought I'd share my random thoughts and life "issues" that are occurring but I remind myself to be thankful everyday for a job, a roof over my head, food to eat, to be loved by someone, and to love someone. I hope you're all having a good week! And pray that it'll rain for a good amount of time, the Bay Area needs it big time.

Be healthy!
- Marie

Happy New Year and Updates

Can you believe it's the middle of the month already?! Crazy how fast time seems to tick. According to my Blogger stats the last time I wrote an entry was February of Last year?! Yeesh, I've really slacked off. Not goo, not good. However, on a better note a good number of things have happened since then.

As of this past Wednesday I started a new part-time job in Los Altos called "The Athlete's Advantage." We offer massage/bodywork, yoga classes, yoga therapy, integrative personal training, and corrective exercise. Everythign here is manual therapy, no crazy machines to be hooked up. Just applying our knowledge with our hands. I'm really happy that I can be an Athletic Trainer and a massage therapist, otherwise there's no meaning to have to gone to school for either of these credentials. A handful of you have had sessions with me and every time you all feel better. That's my goal with each session: to make sure you feel better than you did an hour ago coming to see me. If you need my business card let me know! :D

I also moved down to San Jose renting a room in a townhouse close to Japantown. I got fed up with my Caltrain commute, I lost plenty of hours of productivity on it thanks to delays or late nights at work. I was tired of it. So renting a room was the more affordable alternative I could do.  I could not have asked for better roommates. I live with 2 other girls, we're all in our late 20's early 30's so it's a nice combo to have. Oh, and a turtle named Buster who is frenemies with that weird black bottom feeder fish thing. We don't throw parties, instead we watch a lot of tv shows via Netfliex/Hulu+ thanks to Jonathan :D.

Speaking of which Jonathan and I are still healthy and happy. We are still active with our workout dates, continuing to encourage and push each other to surpass our challenges. Outside of fitness we are a very content couple. One thing we are really trying to work on is to be more open and honest with each other, especially when it comes down to whatever is going on in our minds. We have witnessed, in ours and other's relationships, when couple's expect to read each other minds or just don't communicate what is going on. We've had a few conversations so far which have really improved our relationship. Our bond is much stronger than it used to be. this takes a lot of courage and openness to just say it and receive it. It's one thing to say it and it's another to really control how one receives what the other is saying. Open conversations are a daily work in progress for us. And please don't ask "Why are you guys engaged/married yet?!" Truth is we don't have a timeline, as long as we get married before/in our 30's we'll be okay. For now we're taking things a day at a time.

What else has happened?  I had a wonderful holiday season spending time with my family, my sister's fam, and Jon's family. New Year's was quiet, I started a new job, and plotting my future (career-wise that is).

Fitness wise I am a hell of a lot stronger. I 've been trying new exercises throughout my workouts. I workout 4-5x/week challenging myself every time to lift heavier. It feels good to push myself like that. My last personal records are as follows: Deadlifts-175lbs, Squats- 160lbs. Reassuring that I'm getting stronger. Hopefully my muscles will have more tone soon... Eating lifestyle hasn't been exciting. For a couple months I was doing Intermittent Fasting, where you fast for 16hours and you eat for 8 hours. I did it for a while but my motivation to continue died. So now I just eat 3 meals a day, with a snack in between meal 2 and 3. I've been eating clean/dirty with a ratio of 80/20. During the week it'll be really clean, once the weekend comes by I eat 2 cheat meals, or more depending on my monthly cycle. Jonathan has been flexible dieting, or counting his macronutrient intake. He's had a lot of success and I've expressed that I might want to do it starting next month. I'm just nervous about weighing myself everyday to get an average, and not excited about weighing out everything... We'll see what I decide to do.

Reading about other women challenging themselves getting fit and becoming healthier has been very inspiring. For example, my colleague/friend from college Sheena lost over 100lbs after moving to Louisiana, where obesity rates top the U.S. She defied that with hard work, diligence, and will power, and today she looks and feels amazing :)  I give you a standing ovation Sheena! So awesome :) Another inspiring woman is LaKeisha Shurn. The woman who filmed herself going to the gym for 100days. Her video is below. To truly expose her vulnerability on social media, especially in a video, is one of the bravest things a woman can do. Breaking down, almost admitting defeat is one of the rarest things I've seen on any social media outlet. Another standing ovation to her and her immense courage to show her progress from day 1 to day 100. I hope she makes another video soon. :)

It's the new year and we all have resolutions. Resolutions need to simple and achievable. These are mine:

There are many but they are something I know I can and need to do. I taped it on my wall above my desk so it's always visable. I might actually put it as my background screen for my phone to remind myself often as well. I think another resolution I could add is to update my blog at least once a month! There's a lot going on so I need to make the time to do so. 

Thank you for reading this. I know it's long but, hey, I haven't been on this for a year so forgive me. I hope you are having a great week/weekend. If you're sick get well soon! I know some of you are so please take care of your selves! 

HIIT workout for the week

This week is HIIT week... actually AMRAP week (As Many Rounds As Posssible). This also means trying out a different workout set to test myself for the week. Unfortunately I can only think of so many different exercises to piece together until I find myself bored with it. Thankfully I am subscribed to Zuzka Light on YouTube and her workouts kick your ass every freakin time! If you are interested in seeing this week's workout here is her breakdown of the workout. 

So this is how I normally record my cardio workouts. Writing it out so I know what I'm getting myself into.

The video says that you should get a hold of a 30lb dumbbell. However, I don't have that so that means I can't do the workout, right? WRONG. This is my go to option for weight: 20lb home made sandbag. 

Looks like just a plain duffel bag...

Instead I have 2x 10lb sandbags in here. The nice thing about this bag is the size and number of handles it has so that I can drag the bag where I need it during the exercise.

 Handy-dandy timer that my best friend bought for me 2 Christmas' ago :) Set at 12 min.

So, I don't know if I'm quite ready to film a cardio workout yet. I know some of you expressed to see me do it. To be honest I do this in my room. Not exactly the ideal place to film my workout. I'm thinking about doing this in the weight room with a tri-pod at some point this week. That's a little more ideal and you could probably see the moves better. Anywho, down below is the result of today's workout. Let's see how many rounds I can do tomorrow! Maybe Thursday I will film as I get used to this workout... We shall see. 

Here's a motivational picture for the week :) 

Keep going and don't give up! 

- Marie

Paleo Challenge: Complete! And a huge Thank YOU!

As of Monday Jonathan and I have completed the 30 days of Paleo. And you know what? We actually love it so much that we will continue to do it, however, we will be throwing in a cheat meal (not day) on a weekend day. So we've decided this weekend we're going to eat dim sum (YESSSSSS!!! I'm craving dumplings too :D :D ). At day 30 these are my results compared to day 1.

 

I know the poses aren't the same but the lighting from the window was better in these angles heh heh heh. Here are the results and I will resume to uploading monthly progress pictures as I did in the past. As I continue this lifestyle I am seeing more and more gains. My strength is stronger and my workouts are tough enough. Here are some other pics that I'd like to share with you, the calves which I have already posted on Facebook and my quads which I saved for this :) 

 

Anyway, enough about muscles ;) My last post elicited many responses from an unexpected audience: those of you whom I haven't spoken to or seen in such a long time. I am in awe at the outreach you all expressed, and I am extremely touched by your words. To have such support is.... amazing. That's an understatement because at this point words cannot fully express my gratitude for all of your words and support!!

And speaking of support, you have goals right? Whether it's to pass a test, or move out of your parents house, or just have a healthier lifestyle, you have goals. In order to be a couple steps closer to your goals must surround yourself with those who will push you, to motivate you, to support you, and, most of all, respect you. Tackling these goals are hard to do on your own. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with asking for or seeking help. And I don't mean surrounding yourself with those who will shove a shot glass or drink in your hand and tell you to down it so you can get piss drunk then do shit that you probably will forget/regret. These are the people that will tell you,  "You sure you wanna buy that purse? That's less money toward 'moving-out-fund.' " Or "No, you can't eat that because you promised yourself you wouldn't," or "Let's take a hike on a new trail, it would be nice to see different things." It's kind of like guilt tripping but beneficial for you than them. These are the people who are also willing to make a change with you and help you through it. I am incredibly fortunate to have Jonathan and the handful of you readers inspiring me to keep going and accepting change as well as challenges.

With that I vow to you, and myself, that I will stay consistent, I will continue to inspire, I will continue to be raw, I will continue to push myself, and I will continue to be strong.

Thank you, and don't give up!

Marie

Day 20 of Paleo

Day 20. Another progress shot. Well, I honestly don’t see a whole lot of improvement but I guess we’ll just have to compare it to the first day shall we?

Here’s Day 1 and Day 20 in the same poses:

What are your thoughts? There’s a hell of a lot of you looking/reading this so you better say something. Honest or not, something is appreciated.

I’m going to be ranting here a little bit. I’ve been lifting for a good 3 years now. I must say I’ve seen a lot of improvement and whatnot.  Just that doing this all natural is really difficult. Actually, extremely difficult. A lot of people rely on supplements to get the ideal physique they want, but I wonder how they would look without it (it would also take a huge dent out of my paycheck…). I mean I was taking whey protein but that's it. I know progress is progress is progress, but I don’t know how much I’m changing. For example, my ass grew so I don’t fit a size 6 or 8, I’m back up to size 10. Now, I might be losing some fat so I’m back to size 8. Having multiple pairs of jeans in multiple sizes is frustrating. I might as well stick to sweats (at least I can wear sweats at work). I’m trying so hard to be consistent but, shit, working out by myself kinda sucks sometimes. There are times when there might be one or 2 other people in the weight room at work but it’s hard for me to ask them to yell at me and push myself. Ugh. I am trying to shove things aside and let my body do the work (literally). But when my conscience comes butting in things go sour (especially when hormones go batshit crazy on me). I have to remind myself that I’m doing more work than I was the day before so it can’t be that bad. Right?

On another note I’m glad that I inspire others. It’s nice to know that I can provide some motivation. At the same time being motivated myself can get difficult. Might I add that being consistent takes a lot of motivation and energy (physically and mentally). And I really appreciate for those of you who are taking the time to read my stuff, thank you so much for your support!

So after this 30-day challenge, ending on Feb 4^th, I’ve decided to do a modified lifestyle to have one cheat meal over the weekends. This diet is a good test to control what and how much you eat. My monthly visitor is approaching and my appetite grew this week, I guess my hormones haven’t changed much either. Which also may be the cause of my grumpy rant this time around. Anyway, I’ve got a busy afternoon/evening ahead of me. Last thing: comment or tell me if any of you care that I should post a video of one of my workouts (HIIT or weightlifting). Thanks!

Good luck and don’t give up J (I should listen to myself sometimes... working on it)  

- Marie