Potholes and Patches

 Lately I've been contemplating about what I've been doing with my life. Not so much that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, more like how am I preparing for my future. Sure I may be on the right path and really know my strengths and weaknesses. But how sure am I about those things? I honestly, don't know. My greatest weakness is putting others before me, and knowing how to be selfish without the guilt. I work in a field where I put my athletes and clients first. Then worry about myself after I close the door and walk to my car. Ever since identifying this issue prioritizing has been a challenge. I could say that I've made some progress but there's always room for more improvement. I know what my strengths are: I listen to others pretty well, I am understanding, patient, affable, and I work really well with my hands. My hands are my prized possessions. I did wonder if there's a way to insure them... Jokingly. I'm sure there's a way but that's not my priority right now.I'm trying my best to be more aware of myself and trying to figure things out.  I need to take care of myself to be happy. Maybe I am happy and don't know it. Maybe I just need to stop living in the future and live in the moment, living in the now so to speak. I have a bad tendency to be way over my head and not realize what the hell I'm doing in the present. Not having awareness in my present is a terrible feeling. I open my eyes and ask, "how far did I drive?" without knowing if I zoned out or just left my presence temporarily (luckily, I was driving in smooth traffic).
 
 I am nervous about making decisions for my future... I know one thing for sure that I can't wait to have a future with Jonathan. Outside of that I have no idea what I'll be doing. I asked myself tonight "In 5 years what do you think you'll be doing?" as if I'm interviewing myself. My answer: the hell if I knew. I wish I knew how to answer that but I don't. Oh well. I have other things to take care besides worrying about my future. For instance, maintaining this blog.

 So my fitness lifestyle is going well but at the same time I have slumps. This week has been interesting, there were times where I didn't feel like working out or I ate a whole giant bag of Pirate's Booty just because I have no motivation to eat clean or what have you. I don't know, maybe it's this work week on top of last week, I have never been this overwhelmed with Winter season sports before, it's chaotic and discombobulating. Despite my stressful week and a half I'm still getting my ass into the weight room to workout. Yesterday (Tuesday) I challenged myself and managed to do a working set of 3x8reps of 135lbs squats! I thought I was going to have a rough time but I did it!  Yay! That motivated me to stop snacking on shit, get my act together, and eat real food. Now that February is coming up soon I may start measuring my macronutrients and eat according to my goals. I won't call it dieting because I'm eating, not starving myself. My other goal for this year is to do cardio at least 2x/week. Cardio would mean HIIT workouts that last about 20-30min depending on exercises and how many rounds I feel like going. Hopefully I can take some more progress shots soon. I don't have a mirror in my room but there is one in my bathroom with interesting lighting so we'll see. I will say that my arms and shoulders are becoming more and more sculpted. I feel like my limbs and back are getting stronger/sculpted/toned but my mid-section is just lagging. Sigh... I mean it's smaller than it used to be but it's one of those things that is so difficult to work on.

 Anyway, thought I'd share my random thoughts and life "issues" that are occurring but I remind myself to be thankful everyday for a job, a roof over my head, food to eat, to be loved by someone, and to love someone. I hope you're all having a good week! And pray that it'll rain for a good amount of time, the Bay Area needs it big time.

Be healthy!
- Marie

Paleo Challenge: Complete! And a huge Thank YOU!

As of Monday Jonathan and I have completed the 30 days of Paleo. And you know what? We actually love it so much that we will continue to do it, however, we will be throwing in a cheat meal (not day) on a weekend day. So we've decided this weekend we're going to eat dim sum (YESSSSSS!!! I'm craving dumplings too :D :D ). At day 30 these are my results compared to day 1.

 

I know the poses aren't the same but the lighting from the window was better in these angles heh heh heh. Here are the results and I will resume to uploading monthly progress pictures as I did in the past. As I continue this lifestyle I am seeing more and more gains. My strength is stronger and my workouts are tough enough. Here are some other pics that I'd like to share with you, the calves which I have already posted on Facebook and my quads which I saved for this :) 

 

Anyway, enough about muscles ;) My last post elicited many responses from an unexpected audience: those of you whom I haven't spoken to or seen in such a long time. I am in awe at the outreach you all expressed, and I am extremely touched by your words. To have such support is.... amazing. That's an understatement because at this point words cannot fully express my gratitude for all of your words and support!!

And speaking of support, you have goals right? Whether it's to pass a test, or move out of your parents house, or just have a healthier lifestyle, you have goals. In order to be a couple steps closer to your goals must surround yourself with those who will push you, to motivate you, to support you, and, most of all, respect you. Tackling these goals are hard to do on your own. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with asking for or seeking help. And I don't mean surrounding yourself with those who will shove a shot glass or drink in your hand and tell you to down it so you can get piss drunk then do shit that you probably will forget/regret. These are the people that will tell you,  "You sure you wanna buy that purse? That's less money toward 'moving-out-fund.' " Or "No, you can't eat that because you promised yourself you wouldn't," or "Let's take a hike on a new trail, it would be nice to see different things." It's kind of like guilt tripping but beneficial for you than them. These are the people who are also willing to make a change with you and help you through it. I am incredibly fortunate to have Jonathan and the handful of you readers inspiring me to keep going and accepting change as well as challenges.

With that I vow to you, and myself, that I will stay consistent, I will continue to inspire, I will continue to be raw, I will continue to push myself, and I will continue to be strong.

Thank you, and don't give up!

Marie

What I Eat In A Day

I've received questions about what I eat during this challenge. As I said in my "30 days of Paleo" entry, I make sure to change it up so that I don't get bored and dread what to eat.  I know what I was getting myself into. After reading Robb Wolf's "The Paleo Solution" he does a tremendous job getting to the nitty gritty of how certain foods affect your body and what kind of damage that some foods can potentially do from the inside out (such as quinoa, may be really good for you but it's really not... well only a sliver of it is good for you). I wanted to show you all what I've been eating in a day to keep me sated and NOT starved.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs w/ protein (chopped leftover burger, chicken, pork, handful of almonds etc)

Lunch: Spring mix salad w/ a plethora of fixings (sliced roasted beets, guacamole/avocado, boiled eggs, carrots, cucumbers, red bell pepper, some kind of protein, etc). I usually make my salads more and more interesting and colorful, might I add.

(Took this pic as I was eating it... I forgot to take it before I started eating. Whoopsies.) 

Snack: half an avocado (yummy good fats, good for skin and hair too!) and 2 boiled eggs.

Dinner: Sauteed kale and beet leaves, sauteed green beans with mushrooms, and grilled cod.

I don't weigh anything (maybe I should? buttttt I'm lazy...) The containers that I put my food in are actually a perfect size to hold whatever I'm going to eat. The portions are just right so when I finish my food I don't feel stuffed or gross after I eat. I'm very content and satisfied when I'm done eating.

Might I also add that all the veggies, (except for green beans), fruits, and eggs were purchased at the Alemany Farmers Market (Saturdays). This place is awesome except for people not realizing there is more parking in the back while they can afford to walk an extra 100 feet to the vendors. Perhaps the next entry will be on what Jon and I buy and how we spend a whole afternoon into the evening cooking, juicing, and preparing food for the week. Quite a system I tell ya.

I hope this helps those who are starting out and/or living a different kind of whole food lifestyle!

Hang in there! Stay strong, and take it a day at a time! <3

30 Days of Paleo

I was going to upload this yesterday but I didn’t have enough time after I got off the train/forgot to do it. Anywho, yesterday was Day 5 of the Paleo 30 day challenge, so far so good, although cravings are hard to deter from. With the help of resources and Paleo friends Jonathan and I have been thinking and planning on what and where we can eat. We have decided to make Saturday as grocery days where we hit up the farmers market and Costco to purchase the things we need for the week. Then Sunday we spend half the day cooking up the veggies and meats to make our lives easier when planning our dinners and lunches. When we feel like eating out hot pot and Chipotle are ideal choices of eating oaut. Hot pot has no seasonings or greasy oils, just order as much meat and veggies while making sure the broth is plain. We’ve decided the clear broth as our weapon of choice. At Chipotle there has been a lot of praise (from Robb Wolf, and other hardcore Paleos) for their Paleo friendly menu.

Planning ahead of time is really key to this challenge (I sure as hell can’t afford to waste a lot of time in the morning). I work odd late hours along with my long commutes. So packing my meals the night before helps so much. I eat when I get on the train, then workout once I get to work.  I'll eat my dinner on the train ride home or in between basketball games. I can say that I do not feel starved without all the carbs. I have cut out whole wheat bread, brown rice, almond butter, dairy, salty foods, and dark chocolate. I will admit I have had some difficulty with cravings, yet Jonathan helps to remind me what we’re doing this for.

To be honest not having carbs is a little hard. I didn’t eat a lot of it, just a slice of toasted bread with almond butter in the morning and then brown rice at night. The killer is that I what I ate in between those times: snacking on unsalted pb filled nuggets and veggie root chips from Trader Joes, sweet potato chips, and the like. I mean, they don’t sound as bad is it could be (although those bag of veggie root chips can get pretty damn addicting), it’s just that these items were still processed. And I like feeling sated, and so does everyone else! How I’m managing my satiation is to eat my veggies first, from the least dense to most dense of veggies. I will always eat protein last. For example, tonight I ate sautéed kale first, then roasted Brussels sprouts, lastly, baked beef meatballs. I am also being conscious of chewing my food thoroughly and slowly. However, when it comes to my lunch it’s different… this past week has been a variety of salads. Always including some protein I make my salads more interesting each day just so I don’t get bored with it.

Is this lifestyle getting in the way of the quality of my workouts? I can’t say if it is, yet. I lifted yesterday and today, and I’m not dead from them. So I guess that’s a good sign. Now that I am starting a consistent workout schedule it’s hard to answer that question. Jonathan says he felt weak when he went back to lifting. I’ve decided to alternate my weeks with a week of lifting and the following week of HIIT workouts to improve my cardio and shed off some fat. After a 2 week vacay in Washington with family and Jonathan this is a great lifestyle to start off 2013 with.

Wait, what are your goals during this challenge?? Oh yeah… goals. Hmmm, my long term goal is to see what transformation I will see at Day 30 and compare it to Day 1. The other long term goal is, honestly, look good naked. Why? My readers, that’s a whole different issue. My short term goals are to maintain consistency with my workouts and food prep, remind myself to take everything a day at a time, and not give in!

If there's a will...

It’s the holiday season, and it’s the season of shopping, slacking off at work more so, Christmas music, and, most importantly, eating. Indulging in our favorite foods and other foods we probably don’t eat on a normal basis. Thanksgiving was a slight deal breaker on my diet. I’m sure it was for everyone but my mom and I had made our dinner quaint and a little healthier than your traditional thanksgiving foods. Then, 2 hours later, I had another round with Jonathan’s family and then another trip to a family friend’s just for dessert. All in a span of 5 hours, ya feel me?? There was a lot of dessert… but I managed only to eat a slice of homemade pumpkin pie and homemade earl grey ice cream (well… what was left of it anyway). As the days went on my appetite grew. Why? Because I eat like a damned bottomless pit before my monthly visitor arrives (if you are a man reading this, don’t make me revoke your man card…). I eat as if I didn’t eat for a day. I don’t have bad cravings for fast food or anything like that. I just get hungry and will put whatever tastes good into my belly, be it chocolate, tortilla chips, fruit, pasta, pizza, salad, sushi etc. And when my visitor arrives, it arrives with such force that makes me go into self-deprecating mode for a couple hours, then I’m cheery, then I want to strangle someone or beat someone’s face in. On top of that my gut is bloated, not exactly encouraging looking at myself in the mirror. Why not take meds for that stuff? Because I don’t need to, unless I am groaning and crying on the floor in fetal position since my cramps are literally destroying me from the inside. I am a tough mofo and I don’t want/need chemicals in my body.

Anyway, on top of having 5 days off of work, I spent only 1 working out. That is pitiful. I am angry with myself and greatly disappointed. I went shopping with friends on Saturday and Sunday, lots of walking around is involved with that. On Monday I had spent almost the entire day of giving massages. That can be quite the physical activity I tell ya, especially in a very warm room. I guess I can say I did some form of physical activity but doesn’t cut it the way lifting does. All in all I didn’t just sit on my ass the 5 days off. I was always doing something but I just can’t find the motivation to wake up my ass up early in the a.m. (I'm not THAT hardcore) and just do a quick 20 minute HIIT or AMRAP workout. It’s sad but, dammit, I love my sleep. Sleep is essential for recovering every aspect of your body and mind. With that I am not a morning person, I say that proudly. Anyone that has lived with me or knows me well enough: I don’t do early mornings. Unless I really, really have to I will wake up, then figure out if I can squeeze in a nap or just go back to bed upon return to my lovely bed.

I’m trying to find inspiration and motivation to get my fitness back on track. Sometimes it’s hard. For one thing I am doing this naturally, no creatine, no crazy pre-/post-workout crud. I cut off whey, cheese, and weaning off of other forms of dairy. The only supplements I’m taking is a daily multi-vit and fish oil. I can’t say if I notice a difference. I’ll let you know when I do. And that’s it. Everything else comes from my diet. My body is what it eats.  When I start the Paleo diet with Jonathan I’m sure results will start to show faster. Right now cutting out dairy is a good step. The next thing is complex carbs, some fruit sugars, and grains. I know that one is going to be so damn hard. I’ll admit, I fucking love noodles (all kinds) and brown rice. Can’t help it, it’s the Asian in me. If there is a will there is a way. Apparently, there’s a way to make noodles from veggies by julienne cutting them, hmmm. Again, if there is a will, there is way. 

With that, I am looking forward to having an updated picture soon. As soon as my monthly visitor disappears I’m snapping photos. And I also want to thank you to you, the reader. Whether you have been supporting me from the beginning or just checking in on my progress or just fucking bored out of your mind at work, thank you so much. If you are inspired or amused or just freaking excited for me, then thank you. It’s one thing to just spill my thoughts on here and it’s another when readers are actually paying attention. According to the counter on my last entry hit a record 52 views. It’s a tremendous number to me. So, thank you. Good luck on your goals, regardless of what they are, short or long term, don’t give up. You only fail when you stop trying.

Happy Holidays everyone!

- Marie

Just a Start

Most women at my age blog about beauty/make up, fashion, and food, and other girly things but mine is different. I decided to create this blog as a way to express my journey, not to become skinny, but to become the fittest I’ve ever been in my life. A week ago or so I had decided that I want to “grow” a 2 or 4 pack by the time my birthday comes around in February. Quite frankly, it makes sense because I'm making a realistic goal. I’m 24 years young, full time grad student, part time certified athletic trainer, full time daughter and girlfriend. With the help of my boyfriend, who helped me become passionate about fitness, he has changed my views about finding the balance between weight loss and being fit.

See, there’s a difference between “skinny” and “fit.” When I think of being skinny I think of being unhealthy. Why? Because there are fine print that comes with such a goal. There’s your psychological and physiological battle within your self once you look at your self in the mirror and compare it with that model in Vogue ad. Some women experience body dysmorphia, anorexia, bulimia, and other eating psychological disorders. Why do we women do this to ourselves? For social approval? Or to fight the voices in our head that say “Don’t let other people see you eat!” This torture is deadly. There was an article where it found celebrities who regret getting plastic surgery which included Tara Reid with a messed up stomach after getting a tummy tuck because she wanted to have a sculpted abs (http://www.thefrisky.com/photos/357-12-stars-who-regret-having-plastic-surgery/plastic-surgery-regrets-g8-jpg/). Again, the easy way out is presented here. We have more to live for than being skinny… We should strive to be healthy! Even if it’s just to smile and laugh.

Now, being fit is different. I, myself, have been active for most of my life, from participating in sports from elementary to high school, taking up running at one point, taking a cardio kickboxing class, and a bunch of other stuff. Back then I wanted to be “skinny.” I wanted to feel beautiful in everything that I wore, but most of all I wanted to feel… happy with myself. Throughout high school and college I never really was happy with the way I looked. I hid behind baggier clothes and displayed myself as a tomboy. This lead me to a handful of times were I would breakdown because I was so frustrated with lack of results and progress. Today, with the help of my very supportive boyfriend, I have been lifting weights for about a year and a half. Through YouTube I have also found additional exercises to make my workouts more stimulating and challenging instead of boring and routine. Within the year and a half I have more definition in my upper arms, shoulders, legs, calves, and reduction of … stuff in my belly. Even my jean sizes have decreased! Never have I seen a 6 until I bought a pair of khaki’s that I needed for work. But… then I realized that this one pair of jeans that I’ve had for quite some time has been a 6…. whoops. haha. 

Another big key to this journey is my diet. When women think of diets, more often than not it’s a bell that rings “short cut!” Becoming fit, healthy, and happy is no short cut. Eating clean has been very helpful with my goals. Buying produce at the farmers market is the best for you, your wallet, and the local economy. Looking up various recipes you want to try out is always an experiment because you can always tweak them to your liking. You can get very creative with your diet. Why spend money on fad diets that may just end up discouraging you even more because it’s not what is RIGHT for YOU? Clean eating is essential. For example my typical day would look like this:

Breakfast- scrambled eggs (one whole egg, 2 egg whites), a serving of old fashioned oatmeal sprinkled lightly with cinnamon, and a small bowl of blueberries or fruit.
Mid-Morning meal: Multigrain crackers w/ goat cheese and slices of tomato
Lunch- Protein shake (one scoop of whey protein) in 16oz of almond milk, and fruit or veggies
Afternoon meal: Whole wheat bread + thin layer of almond butter
Dinner: 2 sides of veggies (salad and roasted veggies), a serving of protein (chicken/beef/pork/fish), and a serving of complex carbs (Brown rice).

I’m supposed to be eating 6 “meals” in a day but it’s difficult to be honest. I would’t throw myself to start eating that much on day one, I gradually get myself there. But you should know that when your body is hungry, FEED IT WITH THE RIGHT STUFF! I fulfill my cravings with raw almonds, or whole grain pretzels, or a homemade granola bar. I drink a lot of water. I drink water wherever I am; while I’m studying, working, eating, breathing. Water is so essential to the human body and it helps flush out your system to keep it clean and functioning. 

So, I will be posting workouts, times, food/meal plans, recipes, rants, raves, and other things about my workout/fitness life and goals. I may throw in some beauty tips or whatnot. Hey, I'm a woman and would like to share some tips too, nothing wrong to feel beautiful right? Women are strong, we have brute strength inside and out, and, most of all, we are beautiful; which is how I came up with the name of my blog. Thanks for reading! 

Pic taken 9/8/2011