If there's a will...

It’s the holiday season, and it’s the season of shopping, slacking off at work more so, Christmas music, and, most importantly, eating. Indulging in our favorite foods and other foods we probably don’t eat on a normal basis. Thanksgiving was a slight deal breaker on my diet. I’m sure it was for everyone but my mom and I had made our dinner quaint and a little healthier than your traditional thanksgiving foods. Then, 2 hours later, I had another round with Jonathan’s family and then another trip to a family friend’s just for dessert. All in a span of 5 hours, ya feel me?? There was a lot of dessert… but I managed only to eat a slice of homemade pumpkin pie and homemade earl grey ice cream (well… what was left of it anyway). As the days went on my appetite grew. Why? Because I eat like a damned bottomless pit before my monthly visitor arrives (if you are a man reading this, don’t make me revoke your man card…). I eat as if I didn’t eat for a day. I don’t have bad cravings for fast food or anything like that. I just get hungry and will put whatever tastes good into my belly, be it chocolate, tortilla chips, fruit, pasta, pizza, salad, sushi etc. And when my visitor arrives, it arrives with such force that makes me go into self-deprecating mode for a couple hours, then I’m cheery, then I want to strangle someone or beat someone’s face in. On top of that my gut is bloated, not exactly encouraging looking at myself in the mirror. Why not take meds for that stuff? Because I don’t need to, unless I am groaning and crying on the floor in fetal position since my cramps are literally destroying me from the inside. I am a tough mofo and I don’t want/need chemicals in my body.

Anyway, on top of having 5 days off of work, I spent only 1 working out. That is pitiful. I am angry with myself and greatly disappointed. I went shopping with friends on Saturday and Sunday, lots of walking around is involved with that. On Monday I had spent almost the entire day of giving massages. That can be quite the physical activity I tell ya, especially in a very warm room. I guess I can say I did some form of physical activity but doesn’t cut it the way lifting does. All in all I didn’t just sit on my ass the 5 days off. I was always doing something but I just can’t find the motivation to wake up my ass up early in the a.m. (I'm not THAT hardcore) and just do a quick 20 minute HIIT or AMRAP workout. It’s sad but, dammit, I love my sleep. Sleep is essential for recovering every aspect of your body and mind. With that I am not a morning person, I say that proudly. Anyone that has lived with me or knows me well enough: I don’t do early mornings. Unless I really, really have to I will wake up, then figure out if I can squeeze in a nap or just go back to bed upon return to my lovely bed.

I’m trying to find inspiration and motivation to get my fitness back on track. Sometimes it’s hard. For one thing I am doing this naturally, no creatine, no crazy pre-/post-workout crud. I cut off whey, cheese, and weaning off of other forms of dairy. The only supplements I’m taking is a daily multi-vit and fish oil. I can’t say if I notice a difference. I’ll let you know when I do. And that’s it. Everything else comes from my diet. My body is what it eats.  When I start the Paleo diet with Jonathan I’m sure results will start to show faster. Right now cutting out dairy is a good step. The next thing is complex carbs, some fruit sugars, and grains. I know that one is going to be so damn hard. I’ll admit, I fucking love noodles (all kinds) and brown rice. Can’t help it, it’s the Asian in me. If there is a will there is a way. Apparently, there’s a way to make noodles from veggies by julienne cutting them, hmmm. Again, if there is a will, there is way. 

With that, I am looking forward to having an updated picture soon. As soon as my monthly visitor disappears I’m snapping photos. And I also want to thank you to you, the reader. Whether you have been supporting me from the beginning or just checking in on my progress or just fucking bored out of your mind at work, thank you so much. If you are inspired or amused or just freaking excited for me, then thank you. It’s one thing to just spill my thoughts on here and it’s another when readers are actually paying attention. According to the counter on my last entry hit a record 52 views. It’s a tremendous number to me. So, thank you. Good luck on your goals, regardless of what they are, short or long term, don’t give up. You only fail when you stop trying.

Happy Holidays everyone!

- Marie

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

            So it’s been a while since I’ve written. Honestly I have no excuse other than piling all this shit on my silver platter that I call life. I’ve been attending massage classes, on top of having weekly trades (practicing on our classmates) and clinics (practicing on the public). From Tuesday til Friday I commute to Cupertino for work. I drive down Tuesday, leave my car in Mountain View to take Caltrain back to the city where my awesome dad picks me up from the station to bring me home, where my mom has dinner cooked and ready to eat (living at home does have its perks… as long as I give my mom a massage too). During the week I will take Muni to the Caltrain station. It’s almost a 2 hour fiasco to get to Cupertino really. Then I usually take the baby bullet train home, unless I find out I have games to cover late into the night I work late. All in all, I thrive… somehow. I’m getting paid at least (well… that’s a slightly different story). “Why the hell would you do that? Why not just move there or work in the city?” Okay, that’s a completely different conversation.  It could be worse.

One might ask, “how do you squeeze in workouts then? What about your eating habits?” Well, it helps to set aside time to do a workout, weather it’s a HIIT home workout or a push/pull weight lifting workout that I do at work (my office is literally sharing a wall with the weight room..). the HIIT workouts vary every time I do it. I think I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t like doing the same workout more than 2x a week unless I’m trying to improve time or reps. Those workouts are 30 minutes or less. The only time I can lift with a push/pull workout is Wednesday because my work will start later due to the kids being in class later. I can only get my hands on the iron on Wednesdays, which suck because there are other days where I have the need to lift but I have nothing in my house that fulfills my satisfaction of lifting iron. Regarding food/diet on an average day I will try my best to set food aside the night before so that I have more time in the morning to get my workout in, including a shower and doing girly things to get ready for the day (slap on my moisturizer, some lotion, put deodorant on, tie up my hair… etc. And once in a blue moon line my eyes, curl my lashes, and slab on mascara or just save that for the train ride). 

My boyfriend and I are planning on going Paleo after reading that famous book that is ever so popular now. I don’t remember what it’s called. Anyway, we’re going to attempt that lifestyle. At the same time I’m eating as clean as I can now; less to no seasonings, less salt, more fiber, more whole grain/wholesome foods, more veggies, and my usual meat/poultry.  I do get cravings for junk/sweet foods. When I do I pop a square of dark choco from Trader Joes and call it good, or eat some fruit. On top of my diet I supplement a little bit. I’ll have my protein shake as a post workout “meal” and take a daily fish oil supplement and a daily vitamin on a every other day basis because I know my body doesn’t need to have such a high influx of vitamins and minerals when it’s only going to be expelled (waste of money too). My diet needs more refining so hopefully this Paleo diet will do wonders and improve my muscular toning even more so.  

Speaking of toning I have seen some improvement. My shoulders look a little more defined, my obliques are peaking out more, my tire (lower gut) is getting smaller, and my core feels more solid. I know this is taking a long time… I’ve been lifting for about 3 years now? Maybe slightly less. And I love it. I love getting creative with some of the exercises to avoid that stupid plateau. I love showing some different moves to others then seeing their reaction as if I just spoke a different language. My posture has seen a difference. I definitely feel like I walk with more pride.

Well I’ve eaten pretty bad this whole weekend so I’m not going to be posting any pics today… I might update those later this month when my eating flushes out the stuff I ate hehe. Thank you for reading!